Call my kid a baby? Well, yours is a tramp

Dear Lackadaisical Parent,

I know it must be hard by the time you get your fourth of fifth kid to the tween years to parent. First, I’m sure you’re a little worn out. That’s a lot of potential discipline over the course of a couple of decades. But, I want to remind you that you still have a responsibility as a parent to attempt to raise a child that can get along with others and eventually become a contributing member of society.

I’m sure right now you’re asking yourself, “why is this crazy Mom writing me?” Well, I’ll tell you. Your daughter has made my child cry non-stop for the past week from her venomous comments on the playground and while I have to coach my child to ignore her, hold her head high and walk away, I don’t have to.

So, what did your kid say? Among other things, she told my Rosie that “she looked like a baby.” And, then she went on to mock her in front of an entire group of friends. This caused a plethora of problems this weekend as my child attempted to find anything “grown-up” in her closet to wear and a number of crying jags that were more than a little disconcerting making my job as a parent quite painful.

As I stood with my child staring at her clothes, I did find a couple of outfits that needed to be retired, however we had a long discussion about how ten and eleven year-old girls are supposed to dress. And, we came to the conclusion that it’s still okay to wear pink every once in a while and that Rosie’s clothes were just fine. And, that maybe your child dressed completely inappropriate and was just a little bit jealous that she didn’t have great clothes to wear.

You see, I’ve been to school. Lots. And, I’ve seen the way your child dresses.

Little girls are not supposed to wear all black or jeans with strategically placed holes. Their underwear should not peek out under their shorts. Their outfits should not look like something that a teen-aged sister wore to high school the day before. They should never be rumpled or soiled either.

Tween-aged girls should still be instructed to bathe and brush their hair (just an FYI, I’ve told my child on numerous occasions to be kind and not discuss your child’s terrible dandruff problem as it’s rude and inappropriate). They shouldn’t wear fingerless gloves that go to their elbows or headbands that look like they borrowed them straight from Madonna’s closet in the 80’s. And the torn tights? Shame on you for letting her leave your home that way.

In fifth grade, we should never see cleavage. Despite the fact that they are developing, they are still little girls. We shouldn’t be inviting every pedophile in the world to get a free peek.

I realize that while I’ve been ranting and raving, you probably don’t care and won’t even discuss the real issue. Your child shouldn’t be so nasty and bully on the playground. So, I’ve carefully instructed mine to walk away. The good news is they won’t be in middle school together so we only have five more months of putting up with your kids crap which is really cool.

That means I won’t have to explain to Rosie why your kid sneaks cigarettes out back during recess. Or, why she constantly winds up at the principal’s office and in detention. And I certainly won’t have to tell her why all the boys have taken an unusual interest in her as she dresses to attract the wrong kind of attention. We all know what happens to girls like that.


An involved parent that is proud to have a kid that wears pink




About debcb

All Deb wanted to do was work, until she had Rosie. For the past decade, she's juggled a full-time career, high-profile volunteer work and mommyhood.


  1. ok you got me on this one, I was bullied the entire first 12 years of school. No matter what schools say and do, it happens. Lifelong repercussions. So you may not have to explain the current bully’s situation in junior high, but expect to explain others exactly like her. When Alex was in Jr High one of the 9th graders was pregnant. I know one girl who was always getting in trouble doing drugs. They locked-down PT once while the police brought dogs in to do a drug search… kids had to stay in their classroom… An elementary nurse once told me some statistics at the Jr High level, and it was unbelievably high. that was before the grade change.

  2. Christina says:

    THANK YOU for standing up for decency and modesty! The girl in question is obviously having some serious homelife issues…either not enough attention from her parents or…worse…far too much of the wrong kind of attention. As your gorgeous Rosie grows up, she will eventually see the wisdom of not following the example of other girls, and allowing her to be herself. I think you’re doing a wonderful job of instilling good values and a strong sense of self in her. Bullies happen, and sadly, it’s a fact of being a tweenage girl. Teaching her how to rebound after being hurt is something that will help her become stronger and will help her realize what a great girl she is. That way, when she’s a teen, like high school senior Sydney Spiers (google her if you haven’t seen the pics), she won’t feel the need to dress inappropriately in order to get attention.

  3. I remember 5th grade being extremely difficult. We had just moved from the big city of Chicago to the suburbs and the girls dressed differently than I did. I was so proud of how I looked the first day of school. The girls made fun of me and laughed. I was humiliated. A few days later one of the girls took my slip (that was in a locker during gym) and threw it into the boys’ bathroom. Unfortunately I had no parentile support to defend me. The great part of your story is that Rosie is a very lucky girl to have you as a Mom. You are loving, caring and oh so supportive and I’m proud that you are my daughter.

  4. nicole Keck says:

    Usually I wouldn’t give your blog the time of day Deb, not worth my time, but this one kinda irked me…I’m sorry that I’m not going to be one of your suck up friends . Are you even aware that people out there are suffering? yeah, way beyond being a called a “baby”. Lets hope your precious Rosie doesn’t ever get to read this “awesome” blog to actually see that her mom doesn’t actually practice the “walk away, don’t react principle” reality she posts a nasty blog spewing her hatred about a comment (and a pretty minor one at that) a little girl made to her daughter. God forbid. Seems like a double standard to me. I have no doubt that Rosie has the most supportive loving parents, wonderful home, awesome clothes…from all you boast about, she’s got it made. I’m glad for her…my guess is that she doesn’t have a clue how blessed she is. This other little girl, who called Rosie a baby….doesn’t sound like she’s so lucky. Sucks for her huh? I wonder what she’s supposed to do about that? Too bad she doesn’t have a mom like you.

  5. I must have really pissed you off Nicole to have you migrate over here. Yes, I’m aware that families are suffering, however this one is not. The clothes this child wears are not because they don’t have the money, it’s because the parents don’t care what she looks like. BTW, our life is not perfect and Rosie’s clothes are not “great” because they are expensive. Many of them are hand-me-downs or from Savers and if they are brand new, bought on sale. Her clothes are “great” because they are appropriate for a child her age. And, yes, she does know she’s blessed.

  6. Love this. I saw it posted on a friend’s facebook page. I wish more mom’s these days would encourage their little girls to BE little girls and actually look like girls, not dress like they are 11 going on 19. At a later time, your daughter will appreciate your standards of maintaining her innocence in clothing. I know I might have hated it growing up, but now I’m very grateful my mom had the same kind of standards for me. This time as a pre-teen and teen are precious years!!
    Also, I think there is a lot of integrity in being taught to walk away from being bullied. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about the comment made, the bottom-line is your daughter was hurt. Little things like that are a big deal to a growing child! I think eventually, the ‘bully’ she is dealing with will get tired of not getting a reaction out of her and stop. Although, I do hope you teach her that if this girl ever hits her, she better hit back with everything in her! 🙂
    Great job… happy to see involved mothers!!!!!

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