Going Commando!

“Hey Mama,” Rosie asked with a look of desperation in her eyes. “Where are my underpants?”

She’s frantically looking through her bag that she packed to go swimming. I, on the other hand, am pretty calm. I know they’re not there so I’m not stressed out.

“Did you put any in there?” I ask looking toward her BFF who I know will discover any moment that she’s in the same plight.

They look at each other. Get eyes big as platters as they come to the realization that neither of them have any panties. They start to freak out.

“WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO??” they both scream in desperation.

“You’ll have to go without,” I say. “You’ll go Commando.”

Rosie is ten. She needs to learn how to be responsible. It’s time for me to cut the cord and stop doing everything for her (if not, I’ll have to go to college with her, pack her backpack every day and make sure her homework is done. On the bright side, that may not be a bad idea. Who gets in trouble when their mom lives in the same dorm room?)

This was one of the first tests. It was simple. All she had to do was pack her bag to go to the pool. I even reminded both girls to pack panties.

When we got to the pool, they both had goggles, towels and some mismatched clothes. So, they passed part of the packing exercise. Unfortunately, they forgot undergarments.

So, I gave them a solution. I looked at them with my straightest face and said, “You’ll go Commando.”

And, then I kicked back, handed my child her pants and gave her the “I expect you to put these on” look.

Her jaw dropped. She looked shocked. She frantically looked at her friend for help.

Her BFF was confused. “Commandbro? No one EVER goes Commandbro.” She looked disgusted.

“No, silly. Commando! You’ll go without panties. Believe it or not, people willingly do it all the time,” I said.

“EEEWWWW!” they said in unison.

We were at a standstill. We couldn’t go anywhere until they got dressed. Both girls insisted that they couldn’t without underwear. But, they didn’t have any. That left them no choice. They caved.

And, for good humor (and to punctuate the point I was trying to make) I made them run errands.

There is nothing more amusing than two tween girls running around town without panties for the first time.

First, they never walked normal; a bowed-legged strut was often followed by a little imaginary wedgie pulling and then some crazy dance moves. Second, there was some lively conversation surrounding the breezy feeling that you get without panties that they’d never experienced. And, finally, they joked and laughed about it constantly (I think at one point, everyone in the Target checkout line had an inkling that they were free and easy).

At the end of the day, Rosie looked at me and said, “I don’t know why anyone in their right mind would ever go Commando Mama.”

I think we learned our lesson that day. And, I think I can safely say that I don’t have much to worry about when it comes to Rosie wearing panties for a long time. Whew!

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About debcb

All Deb wanted to do was work, until she had Rosie. For the past decade, she's juggled a full-time career, high-profile volunteer work and mommyhood.

Comments

  1. Unfortunately Emma is still young enough that she would love to go naked everywhere if we would let her!

  2. Cara Rasmus says:

    You are my parenting hero… calling you when Mayci hits 10 😉

  3. Laurie Nutt says:

    Tell her that her cousins do it weekly after swim practice. They never have their underwear!

  4. Very funny and creative teaching method.

  5. Congrats on the launch of your website! You are absolutely right about the responsibility lessons. Thanks for the entertainment!

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